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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
maglor-still-lives
garashirs

everyone in fantasy novels is horny on main for elves and it’s honestly a travesty like why the hell would you want to marry an elf you’ll just spend the rest of your days growing old in the woods with a bunch of immortal bastards whose heads are so far up their asses they think singing week-long ballads is prime entertainment and say shit like “thou” and “beseech” unironically y'all should be hooking up with dwarves who 1. actually know how to throw the fuck down and let loose at a party 2. will literally shower you in diamond dust and gold they mined and crafted with their bare hands and 3. can sling you over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes with their huge muscular arms developed from hours of said mining and crafting. there’s literally no contest.

lesbiankiliel

daismonius

I see your dwarves and raise you orcs aka the best of both worlds:

1.) living in the woods is a valid option but so is living in tunnels under mountains 2.) indisputably know how to throw down and party too 3.) crafting in wood/ivory and metal 4.) facepaint, bodymods and teeef 5.) big and beefy no matter which gender 6.) literally throw me over your shoulder and carry me to your orc equivalent of valhalla

In conclusion: orcs

Source: garashirs
daughters-of-the-apocalypse

100 Reasons NOT To Kill Yourself

deadinparadice

1. We would miss you.
2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you.
3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow.
4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing.
5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there.
6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself.
7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.
8. You are amazing.
9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better.
10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead.
11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive.
12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die.
13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about.
14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me.
15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born.
16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died?
17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect.
18. Think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again…
19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day
20. Listening to incredibly loud music
21. Being alive is just really good.
22. Not being alive is really bad.
23. Finding your soulmate.
24. Red pandas
25. Going to diners at three in the morning.
26. Really soft pillows.
27. Eating pizza in New York City.
28. Proving people wrong with your success.
29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life.
30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can.
31. Being able to help other people.
32. Bonfires.
33. Sitting on rooftops.
34. Seeing every single country in the world.
35. Going on roadtrips.
36. You might win the lottery someday.
37. Listening to music on a record player.
38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
39. Taking really cool pictures.
40. Literally meeting thousands of new people.
41. Hearing crazy stories.
42. Telling crazy stories.
43. Eating ice cream on a hot day.
44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know.
45. Travelling to another planet someday.
46. Having an underwater house.
47. Randomly running into your hero on the street.
48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel.
49. Trampolines.
50. Think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again.
51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke,
52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more.
53. People do care.
54. Treehouses
55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse
55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees
56. I don’t even know you and I love you.
57. I don’t even know you and I care about you.
58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness!
59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor.
60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS!
61. Starbucks.
62. Hugs.
63. Stargazing.
64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is.
65. You’ve changed somebody’s life.
66. Now you could change the world.
67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you.
68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you.
69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life.
70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things.
71. Making snow angels.
72. Making snowmen.
73. Snowball fights.
74. Life is what you make of it.
75. Everybody has a talent.
76. Laughing until you cry.
77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy.
78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist.
79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down
80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive.
81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero.
82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
83. One day your smile will be real.
84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day.
85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds.
86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends.
87. Eating crazy food.
88. Staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one.
89. Sleeping in all day.
90. Creating something you’re proud of.
91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit
92. Being able to meet your Internet friends.
93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate
94. Sherlock season three.
95. Cuddling under the stars.
96. Being stupid in public because you just can.
97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile?
98. being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years
99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this.
100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen

IF that isn’t enough:


Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453
UK Helplines:
Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org
Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk
Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk
b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk
b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk
Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
Drinkline: 0800 9178282
Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk
Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669
Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7
suicide hotlines;
Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430
Australia: 13-11-14
Austria: 01-713-3374
Barbados: 429-9999
Belgium: 106
Botswana: 391-1270
Brazil: 21-233-9191
China: 852-2382-0000
(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)
Costa Rica: 606-253-5439
Croatia: 01-4833-888
Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67
Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908
Denmark: 70-201-201
Egypt: 762-1602
Estonia: 6-558-088
Finland: 040-5032199
France: 01-45-39-4000
Germany: 0800-181-0721
Greece: 1018
Guatemala: 502-234-1239
Holland: 0900-0767
Honduras: 504-237-3623
Hungary: 06-80-820-111
Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
Ireland: 1800-247-100
Israel: 09-8892333
Italy: 06-705-4444
Japan: 3-5286-9090
Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
Malaysia: 03-756-8144
(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
Mexico: 525-510-2550
Netherlands: 0900-0767
New Zealand: 4-473-9739
New Guinea: 675-326-0011
Nicaragua: 505-268-6171
Norway: 47-815-33-300
Philippines: 02-896-9191
Poland: 52-70-000
Portugal: 239-72-10-10
Russia: 8-20-222-82-10
Serbia: 21-6623-393
Spain: 91-459-00-50
South Africa: 0861-322-322
South Korea: 2-715-8600
Sweden: 031-711-2400
Switzerland: 143
Taiwan: 0800-788-995
Thailand: 02-249-9977
Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800
Ukraine: 0487-327715
Uruguay: 095 73 8483
You will be missing out on every single wonderful thing yet to happen to you.

marquiis-de-la-baguette

if u see this please re blog. never scroll past this. you never know who may need to read this.

lesbianfordays

REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG

astromystical8

I will reblog this constantly for everyone to see it!This is importantant!💞

Source: deadinparadice
maglor-still-lives
recoil-operated

Recoil-operated’s $12 traditional mead:

So one of the most common things I see on my Mead posts is “I’d love to do that, but I don’t have the stuff”

We’ll sit down and buckle up. Because I’m about to show you how to make a $12.56 traditional mead.

Here’s the recipe:


1 gallon Deer Park/spring water. You don’t want distilled.


3 lb or 32 fluid ounces honey.


One package of yeast.


a party balloon.


The cost total is $13.49, but you only need one pack of yeast. So -$0.90.

Let’s begin:


Everything together on a clean work surface, you will need a clean glass. And while not entirely necessary, a measuring cup will be handy.


Pour a cup of water for yourself and drink it. Hydration is important. Also this will allow you headspace.


Remove about ehhhhh, a quart or so of water to drink later.

Trust me. You’re going to want it


Wash your drinking cup and mixing about a teaspoon of honey.

recoil-operated

You have two options for yeast, that bread yeast we bought, or professional brewer’s yeast.

They’re both the same price. You can get brewers yeast off of Amazon.

I already have brewer’s yeast, so I’m using brewer’s yeast

Stick that in that honey water.


Stick your honey in some hot water.


Go outside. Breath the free air. Know what it is… To truely live.


Enough of that bitch. Honey’s hot. Put it in the water.

Put the water in the honey too.


Shake the sin out of it.


Put that stuff back in the big bitch.

recoil-operated

Shake the sh*t outta it.

Hydrate yourself with the water you removed earlier.

Shank a balloon with a pin.

Add your yeasty honey water.

Balloon it.

Label it.

If your trad mead says anything racist, or anything positive about Hitler. Straighten that sh*t out.

And there you go. $12 (.56) traditional mead. Stick it somewhere dark and leave it alone for a while.

Shake the hell outta it once a day for the first four days. Then let it be until it’s clear.

recoil-operated

Update:


Boozification has begun.

yourunclejingo

Lots of spices and herbs make for nice additions as well.

Good post.

tehgore

Who the hell are you to tell your sentient trad mead what to think?

recoil-operated

I’m it’s creator. I have deemed racism to be sin.

camwyn

… if I drank alcohol I’d totally do this

maglor-still-lives

Modern Edain recipe.

Source: recoil-operated